The 6th Insight – Clearing the Past: Our Parental Lineage and Control Dramas

We just gave you a brief summary on The Nine Insights. Next, let’s dive into the exercise from The Celestine Prophecy: An Experiential Guide by James Redfield and Carol Adrienne.

Parental Review (Page 164)
The purpose of this activity is to make a profile of your parents’ achievements, attitudes, philosophy, weak points, and unfinished business as you saw them in your childhood. If you can find higher meaning of their lives, you will be more inclined to see how their lives prepared you for you life mission. Your best approach is to assume there was a positive intention at work in your early circumstances.

I. Observing the Masculine Teacher (Your Father) 
You formed your ideas about how masculine energy works from your father or other significant male models. The role of the father in our lives is to help us connect with our power and leadership. The purpose of fathering is to make us self-sufficient. It is through the masculine side of our nature that we take action towards our goals.

If you didn’t relate well to your father, you might have difficulty with authority figures in your life or have trouble finding your identity. In either case, you have not completely accepted your own power.

Observing the Feminine Teacher (Your Mother)
You formed your ideas about how feminine energy works from your mother or other significant female caretakers. The role of the mother in our lives is to help us relate to others. Generally, but not always, it is our mother who shows us how to connect with our ability to heal, comfort and nurture others.

If you didn’t relate well to your mother, you might have difficulty with intimate relationships or lack the ability to nurture yourself properly. A feeling of deprivation around the mother might even underlie such behavior as overspending or underearning. Feminine energy is the center of your goals and reveals what has heart and meaning for you.

Work Accomplishment

1. What type(s) of work or activities did your father/mother do when you were young?
2. Was he/she proud of what he/she did?
3. In what way did  he/she excel?

Affirmative Self-Expression

1. List positive words that best describe your father/mother (i.e. intelligent, creative, adventurous, loving, etc.)
2. What one or two words best describe his/her personality?
3. What was unique about him/her?

Negative Self-Expression

1. List words that describe any negative traits in your father/mother (i.e. strict, critical, overbearing, insecure, opinionated, etc.)
2. What triggered negative behavior?
3. What one or two words describe his worst traits?

Father’s/Mother’s Childhood

1. Describe as best as you can your father’s/mother’s childhood.
2. Was he/she happy? Neglected? Went to work at an early age? Poor? Rich? Sheltered? Ambitious?
3. What control dramas do you think his/her parents used?
4. In what way did his/her childhood influence his/her life choices?

Father’s/Mother’s Philosophy

1. What was most important to him/her?
2. What statement or credo best expresses your father’s/mother’s philosophy in life?

Missing Elements

1. List what you think was missing from your father’s/mother’s life.
2. What might he/she have done if he/she had more time, money or education?

II. Energy Analysis of the Masculine and the Feminine
Which description most accurately describes your father’s/mother’s general attitude toward you? If you feel more than one is applicable, write a percentage on the description that apply (i.e. Poor Me 60%; Aloof 40%)

___ Intimidator: On the verge of exploding, threatening, gave orders, inflexible, angry, self-centered, made you feel afraid.
___ Interrogator: Probed to see what you were doing, critical, undermining, needling, infallible logic, sarcasm, monitored you.
___ Aloof: Tended to be distant, busy, away from home, not too interested in your life, unresponsive, secretive, preoccupied.
___ Poor Me/Victim: Always saw the negative, looked for problems, always talking about being busy or tired, made you feel guilty for not solving his/her problems.

III. Your Reaction to the Masculine and the Feminine
How did you react when your father/mother was in his/her control drama? Choose one of these same modes that best describes your reaction to him/her as a child or give percentages to two or more methods.

___ Intimidator: Did you stand up to your father/mother and take a strong or rebellious position?
___ Interrogator: Did you try to get his/her attention by asking questions? Did you try to be smarter than him/her or find loopholes in arguments?
___ Aloof: Did you withdraw into yourself or hide out in your room doing some activity by yourself? Did you stay away from home a lot? Did you hide your true feelings?
___ Poor Me/Victim: Did you try to make your father/mother feel that you needed help, money, support, attention by focusing on your troubles so that he would pay more attention to you?

IV.  Analysis on What You Learned from Your Masculine Teacher and Your Feminine Teacher
Like My Parents
Your observations of your father’s/mother’s life can function as either positive or negative beliefs you still carry.

1. Finish the sentence with positive qualities you got from your father/mother: Like my father, I am … Like my mother, I am … 
2. Finish the sentence with negative qualities you got from your father/mother: Like my father, I am … Like my mother, I am … 
3. From Father/Mother, I learned that in order to succeed, I should: ____, ____, ____.

These beliefs and values that influenced many of your decisions either positively or negatively.

Growing In My Own Way

1. From observing Father’s/Mother’s life, I want to be more: ____, ____, ____.
2. For what are you grateful to your father/mother?
3. For what would you be willing to forgive your father/mother?
4. From your list of what was missing from your father’s/mother’s life, what, if anything, have you chosen to develop?

Your father’s/mother’s missing elements are directions you already might be working on or wish to develop. It’s likely these elements will influence your choices about career, lifestyle, relationships, parenting, and spiritual contribution.

V. Putting It All Together (Page 172)
As the product of your two parental lineages, your path will involve working through both the positive and negative aspects that shaped you during your particular upbringing. Take what you learned from the above analysis and synthesize it here.

Finish these sentences:

1. The positive intention behind my early childhood and my parents’ influence was …
2. Observing the lessons inherent in the lives of my parents (and perhaps grandparents), I can see that their lives prepared me to …
3. My life question has to do with …

VI. Statement of Intention (Page 173)
I am evolving according to my own soul’s needs, integrating everything I have learned from my childhood to the present. 

”When we dislike someone, or feel threatened by someone, the natural tendency is to focus on something we dislike about the person, something that irritates us. Unfortunately, when we do this–instead of seeing the deeper beauty of the person and giving them energy–we take energy away and actually do them harm. All they know is that they suddenly feel less beautiful and less confident, and it is because we sapped their energy.”
James Redfield